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Get Infected!
Viral photos, letters, and jokes are those that have been forwarded so many times that it is usually impossible to find the origin. This page will feature the funny, the sweet, and the sometimes serious side of catching a virus. Note: We do not use ad/server generated forwards or forwards that have an “intended only for” or copyright restriction. If you feel we have infringed on your rights please let us know. We will gladly give you credit or remove the content. We also do not endorse any opinions that may be expressed.
The Viral Valedictorian She’s a genius, with a sometimes sick sense of humor, and she makes sure we catch all the good viruses. Showcased here are some of the strains you’ve spread that she caught! (I hopr Steeler doesn't mind, we made the Latex Bimbo the cover girl. My way of showing that even when the claws come out, I play fair, still waiting to earn that degree in "plastic" surgery!) See more of Steeler and from Steeler on Cindi's Dega Page!
The Viral Valedictorian
The Viral Valedictorians Motto: My goal is to someday be the person my dog thinks I am.
As I Mature I’ve learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.
I’ve learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just a—holes.
I’ve learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.
I’ve learned that vyou can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that you better have a big willy or huge boobs.
I’ve learned that you shouldn’t compare yourself to others- they’re more screwed up than you think.
I’ve learned that you can keep vomiting, long after you think you’re finished.
I’ve learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.
I’ve learned that regardless how hot and steamy a relationship is, at first, the passion fades, and there had better be a lot of money to take its place.
I’ve learned that 99% of the time when something isn’t working in your house, one of your kids did it.
I’ve learned that the people you care most about in life are taken too soon and all the ones who waste space never seem to go away.
Pass this along to your friends, trust me they’ll appreciate it.
Who knows, maybe something good will happen. If not, tough (_25pts.).
Apples and Wine
Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they sometimes take the apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy.
The apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing.. They just have to wait for the right person to come along, the one who is brave enough to climball the way to the top of the tree.
Now Men.... Men are like a fine wine. They begin as grapes, and it's up to women to stomp the sh** out of them until they turn into something acceptable enough to have dinner with.
Share this with all the good apples you know.
This is stricktly a mathmatical veiwpoimt... it goes like this: What makes 100%? What does it mean to give more than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%? How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life? Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions: If: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z Is represented by: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 2o 21 22 23 24 25 26 Then H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K would be 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11=98% And K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E would be 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5=96% But A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E would be 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5=100% And B-U-L-L-S-_-_-_ would be 2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20=103% And look how far ass kissing will take you A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G would be 1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7=118% So one can only conclude with mathematical certainty that, while hard work and knowledge will get you close, and attitude will get you there, it's the bulls*** and ass kissing that will put you over the top.
UNANSWERED QUESTIONS
1. Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE
2. Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool? (My sentiments exactly)
3. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...does that mean that one enjoys it?
4. There are three religious truths:
a. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
b. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith.
c. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or at Hooters
5. If people from Poland are called Poles, then why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
6. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as some adults enjoy adultery?
7. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
8. Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?
9. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a racecar is not called a racist?
10. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety-one?
11. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, then doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
12. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
13. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
14. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
15. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me- they’re cramming for their final exam.
16. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use. Toothpicks?
17. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?
18. If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
19 You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
20. Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
21. If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?
22. Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?
24. As income tax time approaches, did you ever notice: When you put the two words “The" and "IRS" together, it spells
"THEIRS"?
SOOOOO, now no more wonderment. Enjoy life and hopefully others will enjoy YOU.
(note: My question to the Val was simply, “What exactly is #23?" I also noted, “Knowing you the sensors probably blocked it.”)
NOTE TO ANY IDIOTS that may have stumbled upon us- Although the Viral Valedictorian is a true Valedictorian, and holds two bachelors degrees (and several ropes adorned her robe), Dr. Fuzzboss is not a doctor! Whatever you catch from him is your problem, we will ignore any attempts to extort monies in lieu of malpractice suits. Be forewarned there are no known cures to addictions or viruses you may acquire here.
| Dr. Fuzzboss is a new addition to our regular features. He is unlike most doctors, in that he enjoys spreading a virus rather than curing it. He is the cure to anti-bacterial soap, he only spreads the “good” ones. So join us in welcoming the Doctor to our rag tag bunch of volunteers. Show him some love by leaving a comment on his blog- Fuzzboss’s Blog at Fox Sports.
The Scripts from DR. FUZZBOSS: Note from the Wabbit: I wanted this to be the first viral I attribute to the Doc because, to me, it says a lot about who I believe he is and , because he sent it to me, it says a lot about who he feels I am. If you don't agree, you are in the wrong place. To the original author- you are who we strive to be like. Believe, Have a seat….relax….and read this slowly. It sums it all up………..
I believe….that just because two people argue, it doesn’t mean they don’t love each other…. And just because they don’t argue, it doesn’t mean they do.
I believe….that we don’t have to change friends if we understand that friends change.
I believe….that no matter how good a friend is, they’re going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.
I believe….that true friendship continues to grow, even over long distance. Same goes for true love.
I believe….that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.
I believe….that it’s taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.
I believe….that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.
I believe….you can keep going long after you think you can’t.
I believe….that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.
I believe….that you either control your attitude or it controls you.
I believe….that heroes are people who do what has to be done when it needs done, regardless of the consequences.
I believe….that money is a lousy way of keeping score.
I believe….that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.
I believe….that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you’re down, will be the ones to help you get back up.
I believe….that sometimes when I’m angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn’t give me the right to be cruel.
I believe….that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you’ve had and what you’ve learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you’ve celebrated.
I believe….that it isn’t always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.
I believe….that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn’t stop for grief.
I believe….that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.
I believe….that you shouldn’t be so eager to find out a secret, it could change your life forever.
I believe….two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.
I believe….that your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don’t even know you.
I believe….that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.
I believe….that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.
I believe….that the people you care about most in life are taken too soon.
I believe….that you should send this to all of the people that you believe in. I just did.
Joke of the week: Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and values- Stu said,"I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you? Leroy replied,"I'm not sure what was her maiden name?"
Dr. Fuzzboss's Scam Alert: SCAM ALERT! Please send this warning to everyone on your e-mail list: If someone comes to your front door saying they are checking for ticks due to the warming weather and asks you to take your clothes off and dance around with your arms up, DO NOT DO IT!! IT IS A SCAM!! They only want to see you naked... I wish I'd gotten this yesterday. I feel so stupid!!!!
Only the finest: Straight From the Doctor Find the man in the beans- 
Doctors have concluded that if you find the man in the coffee beans in 3 seconds, your right half of your brain is better developed than most people. If you find the man between 3 seconds and 1 minute, your right half of the brain is developed normally. If you find the man between 1 minute and 3 minutes, then the right half of your brain is functioning slowly and you need to eat more protein. If you have not found the man after 3 minutes, the advice is to look for more of this type of exercise to make that part of the brain stronger!!!
And, yes, the man is really there!!!
THREE THINGS TO THINK ABOUT:
1. COWS
2. THE CONSTITUTION
3. THE TEN COMMANDMENTS
COWS - Does anyone else find it amazing that our government can track a cow born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where
she sleeps in the state of Washington? And, they tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 11 million illegal alienswandering around our country. Maybe we should give them all a cow.
THE CONSTITUTION - They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq. Why don't we just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys, it's worked for over 200 years and we're not using it anymore.
TEN COMMANDMENTS - The real reason we can't have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse is that you cannot post, "Thou Shalt Not Steal," "Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery," and "Thou Shall Not Lie" in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment and that's not politically correct.
Do pastors really read the bible? Or, in this case do any religious leaders realize what it boils down to? Rick Mathes made them realize. Allah or Jesus? By Rick Mathes The Muslim religion in the fastest growing religion per capita in the United States , especially in the minority races!!!
Last month I attended my annual training session that's required for
maintaining my state prison security clearance. During the training session there was a presentation by three speakers representing the Roman Catholic, Protestant and Muslim faiths, who explained each of their beliefs
I was particularly interested in what the Islamic Imam had to say. The Mam gave a great presentation of the basics of Islam, complete with a video.
After the presentations, time was provided for questions and answers.When it was my turn, I directed my question to the Imam and asked: "Please, correct me if I'm wrong but I understand that most Islmams and clerics of Islam have declared a holy jihad [Holy war] against the infidels of the world and, that by killing an infidel, (which is a command to all Muslims) they are assured of a place in heaven. If that's the case, can you give me the definition of an infidel?" There was no disagreement with my statements and, without hesitation, he replied, "Non-believers!"
I responded, "So, let me make sure I have this straight. All followers of Allah have been commanded to kill everyone who is not of your faith so they can have a place in Heaven. Is that correct?"
The expression on his face changed from one of authority and command to that of "a little boy who had just been caught with his hand in the cookie jar."
He sheepishly replied, "Yes."
I then stated, "Well, sir, I have a real problem trying to imagine Pope
John Paul commanding all Catholics to kill those of your faith or Dr.
Stanley ordering all Protestants to do the same in order to guarantee them a place in Heaven. The Imam was speechless.
I continued, "I also have problem with being your 'friend' when you and your brother clerics are telling your followers to kill me! Let me ask you a question. Would you rather have your Allah, who tells you to kill me in order for you to go to Heaven, or my Jesus who tells me to love you because I am going to Heaven and He wants you to be there with me?"
You could have heard a pin drop as the Imam hung his head in shame.
Needless to say, the organizers and/or promoters of the 'Diversification' training seminar were not happy with Rick's way of dealing with the Islamic Imam and exposing the truth about the Muslims' beliefs.
In twenty years there will be enough Muslim voters in the U.S. To elect the President!
I think everyone in the US should be required to read this but with the liberal justice system, liberal media, and the ACLU, there is no way this will be widely publicized.
Please pass this on to all your e-mail contacts. This is a true story and
the author, Rick Mathes, is a well known leader in prison ministry.
A Tragic Virus Subject: Tragedy The Reverends Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton, while visiting a primary school class, found themselves in the middle of discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asked both men if they would like to lead the discussion of the word "tragedy". So the illustrious Rev Jackson asks the class for an example of a "tragedy". One little boy stood up and offered: "If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a runaway tractor comes along and knocks him dead, that would be a tragedy." No," says the Great Jesse Jackson, "that would be an accident." A little girl raised her hand: "If a school bus carrying 50 children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy."I'm afraid not," explains the exalted Reverend Al. "That's what we would call a great loss." The room goes silent. No other children volunteer Reverend Al searches the room "Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?" Finally at the back of the room little Johnny raises his hand. In a stern voice he says: "If a plane carrying the Reverends Jackson and Sharpton were struck by a missile and blown to smithereens that would be a tragedy."Fantastic!" exclaims Jackson and Sharpton, "That's right. And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?" "Well," says little Johnny, "because it sure as hell wouldn't be a great loss, and it probably wouldn't be an accident either."
| Spread a virus!
These are viral letters that ask everyone to copy them and send them out. They are usually written in order to make a point about society. (We do not consider these the same as “chain mail”, although the intended results may be the same.) We ask those of you who are interested to copy the text and start a stain of your own!
Check out The Virus From Southern CindiAnyone who loves a mom, knows a mom, or is a mom will find this viral letter says it all. Pass it on to all the beautiful moms in your life.
Spread the Virus-
Send this to 5 peopleor else you'll have a bad sex life FOREVER!
A co-worker got a pen stuck inside our printer. He started to try and
remove the pen, but I told him we don't have time for that now, just put a
note on the printer telling folks not to use it and then report it to the
Help Desk. So he grabbed a piece of paper and scrawled on it. I left before
he finished the note.
About 20 minutes later, one of my techs comes in laughing and says he was
just in the lobby, saw a piece of paper on a printer and went to
investigate.
Attached is what he found. Sometimes things don't always come out the way
you want them to........
Best Spread The Virus Threat: If you don't pass this along, a dog will come out and pee on your computer. 
On a serious note: (We do not claim the following to be fact, we only pass on what has been forwarded. Dr. Fuzzboss is not a doctor, nor does he claim to be one.) ....a friend whose mother recently got diagnosed with breast cancer. The doctor told her women should not drink bottled water that has been left in a car. The doctor said that the heat and the plastic of the bottle have certain chemicals that can lead to breast cancer. So please be careful and do not drink that water bottle that has been left in a car and pass this on to all the women in your life.This information is the kind we need to know and be aware and just might save us!!!! The heats causes toxins from the plastic to leak into the water and & nbsp;they have found these toxins in breast tissue. Use a stainless steel canteen or a glass bottle when you can! Please note that above toxins also attack other parts of our body. Therefore, do not keep plastic water bottles in the car when the weather is hot/warm.
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